The story that touched my heart and made me cry too..
Every once in a while.. you come across that one particular book that speaks to the deepest corners of your heart, touches your soul and changes pretty much your entire perspective on life. Every once in a while.. you pick up a book that is so intense and riveting that you can just continue flipping the pages without realising that an entire day has gone by. Every once in a while.. you read a book soo great that it continues to stay on your mind for days after reading the book and you would start reading all over again the moment you finished the last sentence. Well..this was one such book for me. What started as just a casual flip-through at Kinokuniya while waiting for a boyfriend 4 years ago, became perhaps one of the greatest book I have ever read and which also started my insatiable quest for knowledge on female genital mutilation (FGM) and gender-based discrimination in many cultures around the world.
This is the story of Fauziya Kassindja, a young woman from Togo, who fled her native homeland at the age of 16 to escape an arranged marriage to an older man and the brutal customary circumcision that is required prior to marriage. Subsequently her escapade landed her in the United States, where, going in with the hope of obtaining political asylum she was shocked to instead be arrested and detained as an illegal alien. What followed was her struggle to gain asylum, the recognition of her status and situation as well as her ultimate victory, freedom and liberation.
The book, told in self-monologue style began with her early happy childhood. Here readers get a taste of the lifestyle, culture and even to some extent a glimpse into the economic disparity between Togo and modern Asian and Western lives. It is indeed humbling to read about how proud and happy they were with whatever little they had and compare it to our non-gracious existence, being caught in the rat-race, fuelled by greed and the desire to achieve more material gains without the ability to appreciate the beauty in life. But I digress.. :)
Fauziya's family would be considered lower middle class at best in Malaysia. (one of those large families living in government quarters or low cost flats). But in her village, they were considered the richest based on their "grand" house and possesions. Throughout her childhood, you get the idea that Fauziya led an almost idealic family life and she had an excellent father figure who refused to conform to traditional customs (i.e. marrying someone of a different tribe out of love instead of conforming to an arranged marriage with someone of the same tribe, encouraging all his children including the daugthers to get educated despite traditional practice of relegating them to the kitchen and most importantly refusing vehemently to allow his female children to go through the customary ritual of circumcision despite being heavily criticised by the entire local community). It also showed Fauziya as a gifted and hard working student who valued the opportunities that educaton presents. She did superbly well at school, became well-versed in English and was destined for great things.
All that however changed drastically with the sudden death of her father. It was here that the tragedy begins. Her aunt and uncle, spurred by greed to obtain her fathers wealth and jealousy of his love and dedication to his family, chased Fauziya's mother out of the house, took full control of his father's posssesions, removed her from school and tried to force her into marriage with a very very old man. All this when she was barely 16 !!It is indeed heartwrenching to read about a happy family torn to pieces from such a tragedy. Under this forced marriage, Fauziya was also almost made to endure the cultural circumcision (what is now globally accepted as FGM) as a purification process that will make her suitable for marriage. The process involves cutting part of the clits and sewing up the vagina lips to being almost completely shut, allowing just a tiny hole for urination. Many tribes in the African culture believe that this simple procedure will ensure the girl's virginity is maintained right up to marriage. Upon marriage, the husband can either cut her open or force his way in, anyhow he wants as she is his "property". OUUUUCHHH!!! Are they out of their frigging minds??!
Fearing for her life (it is reported by the UN that nearly 2 million girls worldwide die every year from this gruesome procedure due to infections and excessive bleeding) she ran away with the help of her sister and mother. Following a short stay in Germany with a nice stranger, Fauziya decided to go to the United States upon being told by a well-intent friend that she could obtain asylum as the US (land of hope, opportunity, dreams and democracy.. :P) would be sympathetic to her predicament..Nevertheless, upon landing in the US, she was detained by the Immigration and Naturalisation Service (INS) and subjected to grave questionings and intimidation. Her plea to get protection fell on deaf ears and what followed was her 17- month incarceration in harsh prison conditions amidst murderers, addicts and hard core criminals, whilst waiting for her date to appear before the Immigration Judge. Subsequently, Fauziya's plight caught the attention of Layli Miller-Basheer a lawyer and human rights advocate who not only gave her legal representation but listed the help of the American University's International Human Rights Clinic and FGM activitsts to help free Fauziya and gain her political asylum and refugee status.
On June 13, 1996, Fauziya and her team won what was to become a landmark case on seeking asylum in the United States based on gender persecution which included the official recognition of FGM as one such persecution.
Now.. I won't spoil the book by going too much into the story.. (a little too late huh? sorry.. but at least now you can read the book with more enthusiasm.. hehehe). But lets just look at my take on the book as a whole.
The number 1 thing I loved about this book is the language. It is simple and earnest. There was never a need to indulge in poetic and excessive use of flowery vocab and descriptions just to capture readers attention and emotion. The writer was just telling it as it is, which inadvertently resulted in allowing Fauziya's personality to shine through ; a young, courageous woman who stood up for what she believed in with unwavering faith through thick and thin.
Secondly, unlike most autobiographies of Arab or African Women, written by Westerners, this book is not filled with any of the usual western bias and cynicism of other people's culture (which is alot more than can be said for Patricia McCormick's Sold, Jean P Sasson's Princess and Waris Dirie's Desert Flower), the writer was successful in not crossing the thin line between condemning the attrocious ACT of FGM per se and foresaking the entire African value system and. It made this a fairer and more credible take on the subject matter. This allows for a more universally accepted writing.
Thirdly, whilst talking on the issue, the writer also provided some valuable additional information and statistics on FGM, giving readers a better understanding of the subject matter and how serious this practice is. As a result, readers (female in particular) are not only able to understand the problem in greater depth, but they could also relate to Fauziya's pains and sufferings better.
Interestingly enough, the book also provided detailed descriptions of Fauziya's stay in prison and the harsh and inhumane conditions under which Asians and non-caucasian immigrants and aliens were put under. Readers are made aware of the fact that there exists double standards in the American prison and immigration system where Caucasian immigrants from Eastern europe for example were treated with more respect and given better living conditions and comfort in proper INS detention centers as compared with their Asian and African counterparts. Goes to show how liberal, fair and democratic USA is indeed!!:P
Finally, looking at Fauziya's story and all the trials and tribulations that she went through, even the laziest of couch potatos and airheads would have had their thoughts provoked and be inspired. Here is a woman who never lost faith in God despite all the trials that she went through (being raised a devout Muslim, Fauziya never missed her prayers and at one point described her difficult experience of trying to clean, cover herself and pray in her dirty cell under the watchful eye of her crazy criminal cellmate). Most people I know (myself included) would've been angry at God for putting us through such hell should the same fate befall us, instead of still continuing to talk to him and seek his guidance. But at the same time it also showed that Fauziya is not a superhuman (though she does an almost perfect imitation of it in my books..). She almost reached breaking point a few times during her stay in prison and was on the verge of giving up where she begged to just be deported to Togo. Nevertheless, the fact that she almost lost it, but didnt and infact thriumped over these obstacles make readers respect this wonderful human being more!!!
All in all.. this book can do so much for you. Make you smile - when reading about her happy childhood and family. Make you laugh at the little funny anecdotes. Make you cry - at her tragedy. Make you gasp - in horror at the craziness of this whole practic and the terrible statistics accompanying it. Make you reflect -on the beautiful friendship that transcends all race, religion and boundaries between Fauziya and her lawyer Layli Miller Basheer and make you ponder on how one can have so much strength and courage to overcome every obstacle and adversity despite being put to the ultimate test and pushed to breaking point time and again.
For everyone of you out there.. if you only decide to read one book this year.. please please let this be the book. You will never regret it. Ladies..time to put all those Shopaholic series away (sorry Sophie heheh!!) and Gentlemen..this is no chic lit..reading this book and becoming more aware of such issues affecting the world will just up your sexiness and appeal to the fairer sex.. ;)
This is the story of Fauziya Kassindja, a young woman from Togo, who fled her native homeland at the age of 16 to escape an arranged marriage to an older man and the brutal customary circumcision that is required prior to marriage. Subsequently her escapade landed her in the United States, where, going in with the hope of obtaining political asylum she was shocked to instead be arrested and detained as an illegal alien. What followed was her struggle to gain asylum, the recognition of her status and situation as well as her ultimate victory, freedom and liberation.
The book, told in self-monologue style began with her early happy childhood. Here readers get a taste of the lifestyle, culture and even to some extent a glimpse into the economic disparity between Togo and modern Asian and Western lives. It is indeed humbling to read about how proud and happy they were with whatever little they had and compare it to our non-gracious existence, being caught in the rat-race, fuelled by greed and the desire to achieve more material gains without the ability to appreciate the beauty in life. But I digress.. :)
Fauziya's family would be considered lower middle class at best in Malaysia. (one of those large families living in government quarters or low cost flats). But in her village, they were considered the richest based on their "grand" house and possesions. Throughout her childhood, you get the idea that Fauziya led an almost idealic family life and she had an excellent father figure who refused to conform to traditional customs (i.e. marrying someone of a different tribe out of love instead of conforming to an arranged marriage with someone of the same tribe, encouraging all his children including the daugthers to get educated despite traditional practice of relegating them to the kitchen and most importantly refusing vehemently to allow his female children to go through the customary ritual of circumcision despite being heavily criticised by the entire local community). It also showed Fauziya as a gifted and hard working student who valued the opportunities that educaton presents. She did superbly well at school, became well-versed in English and was destined for great things.
All that however changed drastically with the sudden death of her father. It was here that the tragedy begins. Her aunt and uncle, spurred by greed to obtain her fathers wealth and jealousy of his love and dedication to his family, chased Fauziya's mother out of the house, took full control of his father's posssesions, removed her from school and tried to force her into marriage with a very very old man. All this when she was barely 16 !!It is indeed heartwrenching to read about a happy family torn to pieces from such a tragedy. Under this forced marriage, Fauziya was also almost made to endure the cultural circumcision (what is now globally accepted as FGM) as a purification process that will make her suitable for marriage. The process involves cutting part of the clits and sewing up the vagina lips to being almost completely shut, allowing just a tiny hole for urination. Many tribes in the African culture believe that this simple procedure will ensure the girl's virginity is maintained right up to marriage. Upon marriage, the husband can either cut her open or force his way in, anyhow he wants as she is his "property". OUUUUCHHH!!! Are they out of their frigging minds??!
Fearing for her life (it is reported by the UN that nearly 2 million girls worldwide die every year from this gruesome procedure due to infections and excessive bleeding) she ran away with the help of her sister and mother. Following a short stay in Germany with a nice stranger, Fauziya decided to go to the United States upon being told by a well-intent friend that she could obtain asylum as the US (land of hope, opportunity, dreams and democracy.. :P) would be sympathetic to her predicament..Nevertheless, upon landing in the US, she was detained by the Immigration and Naturalisation Service (INS) and subjected to grave questionings and intimidation. Her plea to get protection fell on deaf ears and what followed was her 17- month incarceration in harsh prison conditions amidst murderers, addicts and hard core criminals, whilst waiting for her date to appear before the Immigration Judge. Subsequently, Fauziya's plight caught the attention of Layli Miller-Basheer a lawyer and human rights advocate who not only gave her legal representation but listed the help of the American University's International Human Rights Clinic and FGM activitsts to help free Fauziya and gain her political asylum and refugee status.
On June 13, 1996, Fauziya and her team won what was to become a landmark case on seeking asylum in the United States based on gender persecution which included the official recognition of FGM as one such persecution.
Now.. I won't spoil the book by going too much into the story.. (a little too late huh? sorry.. but at least now you can read the book with more enthusiasm.. hehehe). But lets just look at my take on the book as a whole.
The number 1 thing I loved about this book is the language. It is simple and earnest. There was never a need to indulge in poetic and excessive use of flowery vocab and descriptions just to capture readers attention and emotion. The writer was just telling it as it is, which inadvertently resulted in allowing Fauziya's personality to shine through ; a young, courageous woman who stood up for what she believed in with unwavering faith through thick and thin.
Secondly, unlike most autobiographies of Arab or African Women, written by Westerners, this book is not filled with any of the usual western bias and cynicism of other people's culture (which is alot more than can be said for Patricia McCormick's Sold, Jean P Sasson's Princess and Waris Dirie's Desert Flower), the writer was successful in not crossing the thin line between condemning the attrocious ACT of FGM per se and foresaking the entire African value system and. It made this a fairer and more credible take on the subject matter. This allows for a more universally accepted writing.
Thirdly, whilst talking on the issue, the writer also provided some valuable additional information and statistics on FGM, giving readers a better understanding of the subject matter and how serious this practice is. As a result, readers (female in particular) are not only able to understand the problem in greater depth, but they could also relate to Fauziya's pains and sufferings better.
Interestingly enough, the book also provided detailed descriptions of Fauziya's stay in prison and the harsh and inhumane conditions under which Asians and non-caucasian immigrants and aliens were put under. Readers are made aware of the fact that there exists double standards in the American prison and immigration system where Caucasian immigrants from Eastern europe for example were treated with more respect and given better living conditions and comfort in proper INS detention centers as compared with their Asian and African counterparts. Goes to show how liberal, fair and democratic USA is indeed!!:P
Finally, looking at Fauziya's story and all the trials and tribulations that she went through, even the laziest of couch potatos and airheads would have had their thoughts provoked and be inspired. Here is a woman who never lost faith in God despite all the trials that she went through (being raised a devout Muslim, Fauziya never missed her prayers and at one point described her difficult experience of trying to clean, cover herself and pray in her dirty cell under the watchful eye of her crazy criminal cellmate). Most people I know (myself included) would've been angry at God for putting us through such hell should the same fate befall us, instead of still continuing to talk to him and seek his guidance. But at the same time it also showed that Fauziya is not a superhuman (though she does an almost perfect imitation of it in my books..). She almost reached breaking point a few times during her stay in prison and was on the verge of giving up where she begged to just be deported to Togo. Nevertheless, the fact that she almost lost it, but didnt and infact thriumped over these obstacles make readers respect this wonderful human being more!!!
All in all.. this book can do so much for you. Make you smile - when reading about her happy childhood and family. Make you laugh at the little funny anecdotes. Make you cry - at her tragedy. Make you gasp - in horror at the craziness of this whole practic and the terrible statistics accompanying it. Make you reflect -on the beautiful friendship that transcends all race, religion and boundaries between Fauziya and her lawyer Layli Miller Basheer and make you ponder on how one can have so much strength and courage to overcome every obstacle and adversity despite being put to the ultimate test and pushed to breaking point time and again.
For everyone of you out there.. if you only decide to read one book this year.. please please let this be the book. You will never regret it. Ladies..time to put all those Shopaholic series away (sorry Sophie heheh!!) and Gentlemen..this is no chic lit..reading this book and becoming more aware of such issues affecting the world will just up your sexiness and appeal to the fairer sex.. ;)
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