TOP TEN GOOD VS BAD SECRETARY

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MY SINCERE APOLOGIES

Dear loyal readers (yes all three of you),

It has recently come to my attention that some of you have tried commeting on my posts and that you felt grossly insulted that I did not approve those comments. Truth be told, I welcome all monetary contributions, comments, feedbacks, advice, criticisms (constructive or otherwise) and even phone numbers of your super hawt next door neighbour or older brother! :) Unless you are spamming my wall with get-rich-quick schemes, or penis enlargement product info, I always approve all comments. Writing in isolation is never cool (unless you are Ahadiat Akasyah coz nobody with half a brain will read your books! :P) and this blog is made public precisely because of that.

However, lately I have not seen any comments to moderate in a while. There was no notification to my email and there was no info about new comments on my blogger dashboard. I don't know what is the cause of this but I am trying to find out and get this problem fixed as soon as I can. In the meantime I've changed the settings to allow all comments to be published without my moderation. Nevertheless, I regret to inform you that I have no way of figuring out how to retrieve all those old comments and publish them. So my sincerest apologies for failing to put your kind efforts to good use.

Having said that, I would like to thank all of you for stopping by and reading all the incoherent nonsense on this blog. Your support has been a true inspiration for me to keep on going.

Love, hugs and tons of messy wet kisses...

repulsiverina

DAY 2 : REVENGE OF THE SCORNED FELINE

Dear Diary,

Today I woke up feeling pretty good and remembering the super yummy tuna from yesterday with great excitement. I stretched slowly, feeling the warmth and comfort of my new bed ahhhh...and... hey, wait a minute, this was not the place I felt asleep at last night. Why does it feel so cold underneath my belly? Why does this place have a wet and soapy smell? I looked around slowly, adjusting my sleepy eyes to my surroundings.. What on earth was I doing, sleeping in the bathroom? Then I remembered all that happened yesterday, the planned second shower and my doubt of Cute Lady's sanity. Was she planning on ambushing me and giving me a shower in my sleep? I looked around some more and noticed that even the tuna packet was gone. Damn it!

Cute Lady entered the bathroom shortly, looking not so cute anymore. In fact, I could barely recognise her in the hideous fish monger shorts, raggedy vegetable seller singlet, heavy rimmed granny glasses and tousled hair. OMG!! It's amazing what make up and a hairdryer can do to a human being. No wonder the beauty industry is such a lucrative one.

She greeted me good morning and brought some more of that tasty tuna with her! Yay! Okay Cute Lady, you are back in my good books! She even took the time and trouble to clean up the mess I made at the area I slept. You see... some human kids go through a phase in their lives as bed-wetters, cats on the other hand go through a phase as bed-crappers. Not a pretty sight, but hey the call of nature beckons at any time! Even when you are fast asleep.

She mentioned something about needing to get ready for work and left to shower (herself, not me. Thank god!) in the other bathroom. I wanted to ask her tons of questions, but before I could even attempt to do so, she was ready and gone, locking up the bathroom and leaving me all alone with lots of tuna and nothing to do!

This is not right. What happened to watching American Idol reruns in the living room, sharpening my nails at the sofa and just jumping around from one kitchen cabinet to the next for no apparent reason? She can't do this to me? She can't! She just absolutely can't! Well not without paying a heavy price for it. You can't mess with... errmm..wait what's my name again? I forgot..I don't have one.. well not yet anyways. My old mommy just called me "Oit!" most of the time.  Regardless..she should've thought twice before messing with me!

Just for fun.. and just because I am absolutely bored to my skull.. I decided to have a little fun and created my own adventure game. It's called "spray-your-piss-and-crap-to-as-many-walls-as-possible-in-the-entire- bathroom". Yay! This is going to be challenging and super fun at the same time. Plus, I get to practice my shooting and aiming skills. Woohoo!

I can't wait to see her reaction when she gets back. She mentioned that she will be home quite late today. Its alright.. patience is a naturally inherent virtue of every feline... I shall wait for her .... patiently..for as long as I have to....

INTRO TO THE FOSTER MOMMY CAT WANNABE

My sincere apologies for this overt, blatant and unashamed self indulging post...

Anyone who has visited this blog would've noticed that with the exception of incidental mentions in the My Tips n Tricks category, I don't write about my hopelessly empty and mundane existence life. Perhaps it's because I am a pretty reserved and private individual by nature, who doesn't like sharing her life adventures (?:P) and mishaps with the rest of the world. Perhaps its also because being a perempuan gila yang suka pi kerja lambat nobody, I don't think anyone would care to read about it either.


Don't get me wrong, whilst I for the life of me couldn't even begin to understand why on earth anyone would ever want to read about what I had for lunch at the mamak shop, which pseudo-celeb I'm hanging out with or what my crazy demanding superiors are thinking up next to make our lives even more miserable, I have no problems with those who do. Some writers have this uncanny ability to make the most mundane of daily happenings into an exhilarating and entertaining read. Hence I blog hop and read all of these sometimes just to procrastinate and not do any work destress and amuse myself. And I thank them for writing about their lives and making me realise that mine's much more happening giving me some good clean entertainment.

Anyways, I digress.. the point of all of the above is that I am starting a cat diary section in this blog.


"Huh? What's the correlation, you uber-hot crazy incoherent woman?" I hear you ask.


Well..the correlation is... my dear darling friends and readers, I have decided to make an exeption to that stuffy rule of mine and write about a small part of my life. The cat part that is.


Today I did an unbelievable thing and kidnapped rescued a stray kitten from this place near my office. No I am not one of those crazy, old and lonely cat ladies (although looking at recent turn of events I may just as well be heading in that direction).And no.. I don't know anything about rescuing and keeping cats either. Haven't kept one since paddle pushers and the Spice Girls went out of style. It was just one of those moments where you left your brains in the car and let your klutzy motor-functions go on stupid-mode auto-pilot and run the show!


My plan is to keep the poor little guy for a few days, clean it up, take it to the vet to deworm, vaccinate and make sure it s ok. (it looked pretty sickly and almost dying when I first picked it up) Then take the most adorable picture of the little guy, advertise and put it up for adoption.


While I do that, I figured, might as well keep a log of its growth and my development as a pet keeper as we both grow and learn to understand each other. Someday when the cat is all grown up and is away in college, I'll be able to read all these entries and indulge in a little bit of sentimental, nostalgic self-absorption. Hehehe.


So here's a start to My Cat Diary! May this be a great read for you. Amen...


Your crazy cat woman,

repulsiverina


P/S: you don't have to read this...unless you want to..:P

DAY 1 : RESCUE BY THE NICE LADY

Dear Diary,

Today I had the weirdest, craziest experience in my entire life! It was an adventure, tragedy, comedy, suspense and thriller rolled into one. I was transported into a world of grandeur, a world of intrigue, a world of mystery, charm and magnificence, a world like you've never seen before!!! A world of... oh wait.. actually, that was just a trailer of Clash of the Titans I saw on the large LCD screen at the kedai mamak. Me? I was just transported. Period. Oh well.. you know what they say...us felines can be a tad bimboish dramatic sometimes.

I have not been feeling well lately, and I can't recall much of what happened earlier in the day. I must've fell into a drain somewhere because my fur was wet, dirty and stinky. I was shivering and delirious from hunger and pain the whole time. I did remember catching glimpses of my pesky, ugly brother sucking up to mommy and stealing my food though. But I was too tired to do anything about it. I was just laying at the staircase. Not an ounce of strength left to move, even though there were plenty of those young punks college kids walking around me who could've been klutzy enough to squash me to a catty pulp with their kasut terompah  Air Nikes and Adidas.

It was then that I suddenly saw a bright red car pulled up and quickly parked in front of where I was laying,.. almost knocking over those annoying student pedestrians along the way. Nice car! Needs better aim though! :P

Suddenly, a lady came out of the car and started walking in my direction. By human standards she was pretty cute. And oohhh... I just love that white jacket. Reminds me of the Armani Spring 09 collection I saw on the piece of catalogue paper some kind human used to wrap the fish and rice strewn my way once.

Not impressed by her automobile navigation skills, I was quite afraid that I may be seeing the end to my short existence and turned into dog food under her 3-inch Nine West Stilettos (in Pearl White). And I was too weak to get out of the way. Oh nooo!!!

Then a miracle happened. She actually stopped before reaching my brother and I. She bent down and just looked at us. She had a nice smile and big fake boobs eyes.She said something. I was too zoned out to hear her properly and whilst I could sort of understand her, it was pretty pointless to respond since she doesn't seem like the type who speaks cat. She then disappeared into the building. And my brother went off to play the only kind of game his minuscule mind and IQ could comprehend; pounce-on-his-own-shadow-and-pretend-its a-mouse. Idiot!

After what seemed like an eternity, the same lady came out and again bent down to stare at me. Geez.. I know I'm cute lady, but didn't your mama ever thought you that it's rude to stare? She started motioning to me and before I knew what was going on, she had called for back up and a strange man with a beard grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and stuffed me into a box, and proceeded to put the box in the red car that belongs to the lady. Wait a minute? Hey..what the heck are they doing? Hey! OMG! I've been kidnapped! These horrible people!! Argghhh!! Hellpppp!!!

I was taken on a ride in that cool red car. Thank god her driving skills seemed a lot better once you are actually IN the car! After what seemed like another eternity of reckless driving and Cute Lady screaming and cursing along the way (she must be a Penang driver..hmmm) we arrived at another place. There I was placed in a box next to a table with Gurkhan bodyguards and was forced by Cute Lady to drink some white stuff that looked like mommy's milk but tasted like daddy's piss. I took a few sips and decided I'd rather have a gin and tonic  the puddle of water on the floor. Cute Lady then disappeared to god knows where and left me with Kind Gurkhan Guard who was happily singing along to some Hindi song which I remember hearing at the kedai mamak as from the movie starring this supposedly famous human they kept calling Shah Rukh Khan. I was still rather scared and kept yelling for mommy and even pesky brother (yes.. I was THAT scared and THAT desperate).

Cute Lady returned after a few hours and again shoved me in a box and put it in the car and took me for another car ride. This time she picked up a couple of other cute but loud and annoying ladies. One kept peering into the box and looking at me with this dopey look. Man, if I'd had any more strength left, I'd have jumped out and gorged her eyes with my sharp claws! Grrr...

Once we reached somewhere, they again left me. This time alone and in the dark and stuffy car! I've never been more afraid in my entire life! Oh god! What did I do to deserve this? I could here some people in the distance. I kept screaming but with the windows almost all up, I didn't think they could hear me. Man, I knew I should've snuck into those human vocal classes and learned a thing of two when I had the chance.

After like another couple of hours they came back, drove off, made a few more pit stops and finally unloaded me into what I presumed was the Cute Lady's home. My fear and trepidation were somewhat eased. Hmm...are they going to make me live here? Did she think that I was so darn cute that she just absolutely had to adopt me? Did she? Did she did she did she?

This is not too bad.. I could get use to this.. its almost The Four Seasons compared to that drain I was living in. Whilst slowly taking in what I hoped would become my new home, I overheard Cute Lady and her friend talking about taking a shower. I almost had to laugh.. it was 1.00 am in the morning (or at least I thought it was.. I'm a cat..we can't tell time:P). What kind of an idiot will get wet and cold by choice at this hour? Hahaha.. humans are such morons.

Then one of them grabbed me, put me in a sink and started pouring warm water all over me. Then it hit me, ohhh.. the shower conversation was meant for me! Crap! And I thought the day couldn't get any worst. I was tired, hungry, scared, confused and pretty much jaded. I felt like I was going to die anytime. And since I was already on the verge of death, I decided not to fight them and endure the shower. I could almost see the light at the end of the tunnel and if I do cross over, at least I'll be doing so feeling clean, fresh and smelling of Lux body shower.

Surprisingly.. the shower ended sooner than I expected. Surprisingly it was not as bad as imagined. If anything it was rather refreshing. And most surprisingly, I didn't die!!! Thank you God! I never wanted to die a virgin. I guess Cute Lady and her friend must've have finally came to their senses and felt guilty for making me endure such torture in the wee hours of the morning. She bundled me up real tight in a nice warm terry cloth towel and gave me a delicious meal of tuna. My first real meal since Michael Jackson was still a black man! Errr..wait..he died as a white woman long before I was born.. nevermind...

I ate as much as I could. And feeling healthier and better, promptly fell asleep next to the food...praying that it would still be there tomorrow. I even hugged the packet real tight..just in case.

Shortly before falling asleep (I pretended to be asleep immediately because Cute Lady's annoying friend was bugging me). I heard Cute Lady telling her friend that I may need another shower tomorrow. If it hadn't been such a long day and if I hadn't been so tired, I would've made a dash for it and disappeared into the night..right then and there! Four Seasons or not...Cute Lady sounded awfully nuts! But I prefer not to think about it just yet. I'll deal with that when the time comes. For now, I'm going to sleep and dream of warm beds and tunas three times my size. Ahhh.. pure bliss!

I guess it wasn't such a terrible day after all. Maybe Cute Lady and her friend had good intentions and simply wanted to save me. Maybe it's a lot better living away from pesky dumb brother.. maybe I'm better off without mommy (let's see if I can charm Cute Lady into becoming my new mommy)...maybe I'll get yummy tuna everyday.. maybe I will get to live in such comfortable surroundings for the rest of my life...maybe I'll never fall into another drain...maybe Samy Vellu's hair is real...maybe I'm actually Elvis reincarnate..maybe....zzzzzzzzzzzz