12 WAYS TO IDENTIFY YOUR TRUE FRIENDS

This entry is solely dedicated to Sham & Adri as per their shameless request!

1. Real friends are those who you actually remember their names/nicknames & face on friendster after not logging in for more than 5 weeks!!

2. Real friends notice immediately when you’ve done something to your hair and will shout across the room full of people to let u know that they do

3. Real friends will offer to come up to your house and beat up your housemates for treating you like shit

4. Having done that they would then offer to help you find new housemates.. :)

5. Real friends will introduce you to intoxicating substances served by hot Arab men and turn you into a hopeless junkie

6. Real friends will believe you when you tell them that you ARE a virgin

7. Real friends will emotionally blackmail you for forgetting their birthday for the rest of your life…. or at least until you treat them to the intoxicating substance mentioned in #5

8. Real friends can tell you that you are going to hell for your sins and still have you love them enough to attend their children’s birthday parties.

9. Real friends will buy you earrings when they see it at the mall but tell you that you only have 5 days to claim it from them before it becomes their sole property.

10. Real friends will join you in a bitchfest of the people you don’t like, even if its someone they are “technically” related to…

11. Real friends will text you naughty jokes in class to wake you up when they notice you sleeping and falling off the chair!

12. Failing that, the same friends will then help you get back on that chair when you fall off anyways

TOP 10 ADVICE TO GIVE YOUR KID BROTHER/ NEPHEW WHEN HE BECOMES SCHOOL PREFECT

My 9-year-old nephew was made a school prefect recently. Now.. being a former

notorious successful prefect myself in my primary days, I've compiled a list of tips to give him and also for you to give to your kid brother/ nephew/ niece etc in order to make them a naughty but cool good prefect. Enjoy...

1. Prefect = authority = power = ability to extort other kids’ lunch money with ease

2. For as long as you look super innocent and do well in class.. you can challenge the naughtiest kid in school to a fight outside school hours and get away with it

3. You CAN challenge the same kid to a fight during school hours and STILL get away with it

4. Toy guns and toy cuffs CANNOT be used in reprimanding the baddies naughty kids

5. If you are gonna bring your PSP/Gameboy to school, make sure you are privy to the spot check days/ dates

6. If your dad/grandpa is going to embarrass you by proudly telling kids in school that you are a prefect when he drops you off in the morning…. its better to walk.. or take the bus!!

7. No one would believe the big fat notorious kid if he reports you to the Principal. so yeah.. go ahead and beat the crap out of the bugger!

8. If caught..you are not playing truant/ gallivanting about school, instead, you have willingly sacrificed part of your education time for the sake of safeguarding the peace and sanctity of the masses

9. 9 out of 10 girls find boys in ties and prefect badges ultra sexy..so go ahead and ask her out

10. Official Prefect Duty : can range from asking a good prefect friend next door for drinks during BM period to skipping PJ for an "important meeting", use it freely without guilt…:)

THE AGE OF INNOCENCE

Once I was a child…
So innocent and carefree
Never once did I think of pain
Or how terrible it could be

Once I was a child…
Who had everything in the world
I never wanted anything more
Suffice.. that I was daddy’s little girl

Once I was a child…
Who was truly madly happy
I had my fun.. I played around
And I loved unconditionally

Once I was a child...
Who had no doubts or fears
Coz when things do go awfully wrong
Mommy will wipe away my tears

Once I was a child…
A special gift to my parents
I made mistakes.. I made them proud
But their hearts were always open

Once I was a child…
Who wanted to grow up quickly
I desired freedom, I demanded respect
The world was filled with endless possibilities

Yet…
How could it be.. after all these years
I’m lying here broken, with all these tears?
Innocence shattered.. dreams gone...
Believe disappeared.. hope undone..

Pray as I might, that child is gone
Left in her place is a woman scorned
Maybe soon she too will go
And life can start again in another flow..

AWAKENINGS

Would it be fair..
To say that you know?
Of all that you want
And how things are gonna go

You worked out a plan
You strived to achieve
You stumbled into a wall
Yet you still believed

You developed ambition
You found love
Your life filled with renewed passion
He must be sent from up above

Along the way
Things go awry
Life is hell, your love astray
Can you imagine anything more scary?

You hit rock bottom
You couldn't get up
You thought there's nothing more to life
You just...give up

You forget the joy
You bury the laughter
Those who dare to care
Just makes you even sicker

You spiral out of control
You are desperate to cling on
You wanted so badly to change it all
Yet you are scared to move on

Your path divides
At this very juncture
Faced with 2 choices...
Would one be better than the other?

To be numb to beliefs
Or to dare hope again?
To cling on to bitterness?
Or to let the healing begin?

You may not realise it yet..child
But you are blessed.. you are lucky
When things are at their bleakest
You find the strength of the Al-Mighty

HE paved the path
That you were scared to pursue
HE gives your life a renewed meaning
And slowly you realised just what to do

Your head clears
Your heart heals
Your spirit renewed
Your hope revealed

Slowly you begin
To believe again
To cherish, to love
To accept the things that you cant change

I guess its fair to say then
That age old adage is true
In life..things happen for a reason
Yet HE.. will always be there for you

10 EASY STEPS TO LOSING WEIGHT

In 2007, I started going to the gym and managed to loose a lot of weight and get that dream body!! Despite gaining most of it back. I still feel compelled to share with you the tips and tricks to my once success story.. so enjoy!!

1. Nasi lemak rendang ayam is NOT a wholesome healthy breakfast!!

2. Gym: a place where you actually have to work out to burn calories, not a place to hang around and drool over hot, toned, athletic men

3. Drooling over hot, toned, athletic men is not exercise and does not burn any calories

4. Reducing 1 McD meal a week is not “going on a diet”!!

5. Yes.. eating those pieces of Belgium chocolates that your friend bought from Europe because you didn’t have the heart to turn away his kind offer.. does add the pounds!!

6. There IS such a thing as tasty healthy food!

7. Having said that.. if it tastes awful.. chances are its good for u!

8. SEX is NOT the only exercise you need..

9. You CAN see a person’s figure in the dark.. clearly at times

10. If you feel that your ass is too big for your face.. it probably is!! :)

THE GREAT DEBATERS, Denzel Washington

Bringing Back Old Memories.....

I just saw this a few days back. 2 things made me really wanna watch this movie. 1) The title (bearing memories of my humble past as a former debater) 2) Denzel Washington and the fact that it was produced by good ol Ms Oprah Winfrey... ok dats 3 things...:P

The movie is loosely based on a true story circa 1930's Texas. In the movie, Melvin Tolston, (a real life poet and English Professor) led a small time debate team from Wiley College, an African-American institution,to a groundbreaking national victory against Harvard. In getting there, the team faced the turmoils and challenges which made their final victory all the more sweeter.

Now, on the surface this may seem like the clean cut inspirational underdog-to-victory story shared by many sports movies (think a League of the Own, Longest Yard, Mighty Ducks.. etc). However, unlike conventional inspirational drama, the movie tried to do much more by attempting to tackle social and race discrimination issues through its sub-plots. I.e., Tolston secret life as an organiser of the uprising of the national sharecropper union which fought for better rights of black and white farm workers alike, as well as the servitude of blacks to whites regardless of economic status.

The movie started strong.. with a mind captivating dialogue between Tolston and his students in his very first class. This momentum was kept up with another memorable scene in which Tolston retorted to Henry Lowe's provocation of getting him to tell them something about his (Tolston's) father where he instead talked about preserving the mental strength of the young blacks so as to no longer be in servitude to whites.

The moviemakers also juggled your mind abit with the norms of that time that no matter how educated, and rich a black man is, he's still nothing compared to white trash (reminds me of To Kill a Mockingbird a little here). This was seen in the scene where James Farmer Sr, the first black man in the US to have a PHD, (who could also afford a family car in the 1930's) was called "boy" (deregatory term of reference for black slaves in 1800s) by two white trash uneducated farmers who proceeded to rip him off his money, after he accidentally ran over their pig.

Despite its good scenes, however, the main premise of the movie (which is the supposed gruelling debates) falls a bit short of expectations. For one, during the debate tryouts, it is convenient that 4 out of 5 people who actually uttered any words at all, were picked to be in the team. (Thus reminding u of the typical nature of movie life!) And whilst the dialogue during the short tryout scene was rather cleverly crafted at the start, (where Tolston delivered a repertoire of how one should use one's words to destroy one's opponents), the movie soon became strangely disjointed when the team was suddenly announced without there being an actual tryout of the others.

Further, maybe my being a former debater makes me get too much into the debating part of the movie (just like how some adjudicators in my past tend to put their own personal knowledge into the debate instead of just analysing the matter at hand), but I really feel that whilst the debate scenes sounded inspirational at first (think: literary quotes delivered with fiery passion), the arguments in subsequent debates soon became a tired repetition of cliched rhetorics with not much substance!(blame it on my own vastly different debate and legal trainings, woo hoo!).

And to make it worst.. the debate training (which, mind u, is an essential part of dveloping one into a a great debater!) scenes which should show how the characters grew from timid youngsters to the great speakers that they were, was never succintly developed. We only saw 1 short monologue-style scene where Tolston was in a boat in the middle of the lake yelling to his trainees "Who's is the judge?" followed by their screaming response "The judge is God!" at the banks, biting what looked like a cork in their mouths... it makes absolutely no sense to me how this form of training can possibly do them any good as speakers or analysts !!...or even human beings for that matter..(unless u are training to be a ventriloquist or something).

Another thing, the Wiley team actually won their very first debate! Now.. call me traditional but in a usual underdog to victory story, the underdogs usually dont win the first competition! They need to lose and suffer first so that u can feel their pain, n root for their success and feel their victory with compassion whn it actually happen! I think the team only lost once in the movie (whn Samantha left and James Farmer Jr took to the rostrum for the first time) and even then the scene was so choppy that u dont actually feel any sadness for the team.

Besides that, a love triangle also developed between the 3 young debaters where the 2 remaining guys fought over the only gal on the team (borrowing a bit from a Bollywood Movie here) n the gal fell for the older, better looking one and slept with him, only to have her heartbroken when she saw him making out with another girl... too much of an unncecesary drama.. does nothing for the movie!

Despite its shortcomings, the movie has its strong points, the final scene was strong and roped the movie in pretty well (but I still wonder how Tolston could suddenly show up at the final debate despite the restraining orders not to get out of Texas).. gives it the beautiful ending commonly associated with A-list inspirational movies. And Denzel was brilliant (as always) as Melvin Tolston.. as was Forest Whitaker though he wasnt seen long enough in the movie to have had a significant impact. The rest of the casts, Nate Parker as the formidably intelligent bad boy, Henry Lowe, Denzel Whitaker as James Farmer Jr. a child prodigy and team researcher, and Jurnee Smollett as the driven Samantha Brooke, the only female debater in the team, did justice to their roles. Nevertheless, there was nothing over and above here..we are not looking at break-out Oscar nominated stars anytime soon.

Overall this is a good movie.. but with names like Denzel Washington and Oprah Winfrey at the helm, I was hoping for brilliant and exceptional, hence the dissapointment. Nevertheless if u are looking for an inspirational tale whilst improving your knowledge of the fight against racial discrimination, this is the movie for u.

Having said that.. Calvin darling, I am sorry I made you buy the DVD.. but oh well...at least there are two other pretty good movies in it? right? :)

PS : Fun fact 1) Denzel Whitaker who acted as James Farmer Jr is in no way related to either Denzel Washington or Forest Whitaker though he was named after Denzel Washington2) Jurnee Smollet was played Samantha was the cute kid who acted as Denise, Michelle's (Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen) bestfriend in Fullhouse in the 1990's.