TOP TEN JOB INTERVIEW Q & A DON’TS

1)      Interviewer        :             Good afternoon. Okay Ms Hazrina why don’t you start by telling us a little 

                                                       bit about yourself… 

You                         :             Hi my name is Hazrina Zainul. But you can call me Baby or Darling.. just like 

what my friends call me..oh you can also call me Bootylicious. That’s what   

my boyfriend calls me coz hey.. take a load of this junk in my trunk   

(*stands up and turns around to demonstrate*)

 2)    Interviewer         :            Why should we hire you?

You                         :             I’m smart, driven, compassionate, possess strong work ethics, able to meet 

                                               crazy deadlines and oh.. if you don’t hire me, I may just be forced to kill 

                                               you. 

 3)      Interviewer       :               So.. why did you leave your last job?

 You                        :               (*Looks around conspicuously, turns and softly whispers*) Don’t tell 

anyone but my former boss is an alien from Planet Zirgon who’s been sent 

down to Earth to spy on us before his entire race come and invade our 

planet. I caught on to his dirty little secret and I swear to God I’ll expose 

him to the world before that time comes!

 

4)      Interviewer        :              What was the biggest challenge that you have ever faced in your career?

You                         :              I once had to convince the President of my former company that I was just 

looking for my fallen contacts when he barged into the VP’s room whilst I  

was kneeling on the floor... under the table...with my VP’s belt buckle in 

my mouth..

5)      Interviewer        :              What are the special skills you posses that will make you excel at this job?

You                         :              Umm.. its not listed in my resume but.. if you lock the door and draw the 

                                                blinds.. I can show you.

 

6)      Interviewer        :             Tell us what are your long term career aspirations?

You                         :             Career... asp..assp.. what? I’m just here to meet the hot men in your 

                                               brochures!!

 7)      Interviewer        :             What are your expectations from this position?

 You                         :             I expect to be able to save enough money to purchase an electric guitar, 

start a band, join battle of the bands, win the battle, get a record deal, 

release an album and go on a worldwide tour.

 8)      Interviewer        :             Tell us about your academic and professional qualifications?

 You                         :             Hah! I think education is just overrated! But does being a “professional 

                                                female mud-wrestler” count?

 9)      Interviewer        :              Have you ever held a leadership role in any organisation?

 You                         :              Yes. I currently spearhead a notorious criminal empire on Mafia Wars. 

 

10)   Interviewer        :               Do you have any questions?

 You                        :               Yes. Are you going to eat that? (points to half eaten sandwich on 

                                                 interviewer’s table)