TOP TEN SIGNS YOU ARE ABOUT TO ORGANISE A DISASTROUS EVENT

 Those who work with me or know me well would probably know that I am so not looking forward to tomorrow. I will be going off to Sarawak for an event that I was tasked by the management to organise. Having had this pointless and difficult project dumped on my lap at the very last minute because my colleagues are too dumb to organise their mother's funeral if their lives depended on it, I was naturally apprehensive and had a lot of reservations on how it is going to pan out. Nevertheless, having buat keja cincai asal boleh sebab aku malas nak buat event bodoh nih done my best, I can only cross my fingers and pray that it will turn out halfway decent. Regardless, taking on this project has given me an insight into the tell-tale signs that your event could end up as the biggest disaster since Janet Jackson's nip slip at the Superbowl. Below are some of my useful observations!

1. You only have four names on your guest list.
   
2. When called, one of the persons on your guest list answered as herself but when told of the purpose of the call, faked a foreign accent, claimed to be a Spanish tourist and told you that you had the wrong number.
   
3. There are no clowns in the town for hire. In fact none of the residents have ever seen one alive!
   
4. The grand highlight of the event is a lucky draw for your company's free t-shirt.
   
5. You are expected to bring your own table cloth and arrange your own chairs coz the hall rental guy could not be disturbed during his weekly poker night games.
   
6. Members of the organising committee are encouraged to bring as many family members as they can..travel allowance is provided to pick up and bring families from different town/cities/ state/ country.
   
7. The cake guy doesn't know the difference between a sponge cake and a sponge bath.
   
8. Your guest of honour doesn't know he was supposed to give a speech... in fact he wasn't even aware that he was invited.
   
9. Your entertainer of the evening is some random overweight dude named Larry who will be serenading your guests by belching out the tune of Lady Gaga's Bad Romance.
   
10. Your event is in a god forsaken town nobody has even heard of called Sibu!