THE MIRROR

Who am I?
What do I see?
Is the person staring back?
The girl I used to be?

Who am I?
This smart, confident, beautiful girl?
A picture of utmost perfection
I portray to the world

Who am I?
Drive, ambition, empathy, compassion?
Weariness, dissuasion, coldness, confusion?

Who am I?
What happened to hopes and dreams?
For I'm just lying here in this silence
Giving up with the greatest of ease

Who am I?
I don't even know anymore
There's a haunting voice in my head
It's getting harder to ignore..

Who am I?
It's all form and figure
No depth..no perception
Only lies and empty desire

Who am I?
A mask of happiness
An illusion of contentment
A life-like disguise
You will never know the difference

Who am I?
Will I ever return?
At times I'd give anything to just go back..
To change the path and not get burned

Who am I now?
Who will I be?
Will I ever know for sure?
Or is life just... an oblivious journey?

THIS IS IT, Michael Jackson

A sincere, unassuming homage to the greatest pop icon who ever lived...
Like most kids who grew up in the early to mid 90's, my life story and memories can be relived through a string of MJ's hits...Bad for example reminds me of the time in Kindergarten, when my teenage sister the big bully prevented me from watching Tom and Jerry so that she could practice the killer moves from the video (back when we only had one TV and one VCR player). Heal the World brings back memories of being extremely excited when my dad bought the Free Willy videotape at the Times Bookstore in Penang Plaza (back then there were only originals mind you) and watching it with my cousins. Black and White reinforced my prepubescent secret crush on Macaulay Culkin, while Scream speaks to the teenage angst that was slowly developing inside of me. To put it simply, I would never call myself a HUGE or obsessed MJ fan. But I was never in the group that didn't like him either. Nevertheless, having grown up to all things Michael, his death did affect me in a way, as, put aside the tabloid frenzy of recent years, we have lost THE King of Pop and with him the music that have shaped and touched our lives in many great ways. Without a question, This Is It was something I had to watch, regardless of my apolitical stance (or can I say amichael?:P) on his personal life and the issues surrounding his death.

A lot of people are a bit confused about this movie. Let me set you straight. If you are looking to get all the sordid details pertaining to his death from this movie..you will be disappointed. If you are looking to get a full biography of the guy .. you will be disappointed. If you want to know more about his experiments with drugs and plastic surgery...you will be disappointed. If you are looking for a great MOVIE proper with good lighting, sound, special effects and cinematography..well you will also be disappointed. Coz This Is It is none of those things. The pseudo-movie is just a collection of raw footages shot during MJ's rehearsals for the This Is It come back tour which should have happened in July at the 50 sold out shows in the London O2 arena. Yet for all that it is lacking, in your normal expectations of a movie, This Is It had the pull factor to mesmerise both fans and non-fans alike and this is solely attributed to its simplicity in depicting the legendary artiste at his best.
This is not a conventional movie. Therefore this will not be a conventional review either (but then again.. Rina and conventional don't really know each other :P) I will not go into the brief synopsis of what you might aspect of the basic storyline/plot coz basically there are none. It just started with shots of interviews of MJ's dancers some of whom have travelled more than half way across the world to audition and be a part of the King of Pop's supposed monumental comeback. OK as far as objective reviews are concerned.. this part comes across as rather cheesy and melodramatic. Then it immediately started with the number Wanna Be Starting Something showing the dance and singing rehearsals which were extremely impressive (in my point of view at least) despite being a pure rehearsal shot and MJ not even putting his 100% effort. I guess it helps also that we have not seen the man in action in a very long time. What followed was a series of rehearsals, choreography and would be special effects of the concert. The dance number for They Don't Really Care About Us for example was one of the best featured here. I especially liked how the team was practicing and putting the moves together whilst the director and technical team explained to the camera how the final effect was going to be (with all dancers duplicated to form rows and rows of thousands of dancers) and Michael joined them a little bit later and started spearheading the training session and he was just amazing. Not only was he effortlessly good and the choreography to die for but even with minimal effort at a mini run through, he still exudes this great presence that made the whole thing work! There were a lot other numbers that also featured such great choreography and performance. But They Don't Really Care About Us was my favourite. The guitar solos for Black and White by Orianthi Panagris on the other hand was simply mesmerising and here for the first time you could see that the great pop legend had a match in presence and awesomeness.

Even the slow numbers like I'll Be There, Human Nature and You Are Not Alone will make you stare transfixed at the screen, mumbling the words to the all familiar songs softly to yourself. Another one of my favourite was his performance of Billy Jean in the classic sequined pants with the single stripe on both sides that we've all come to know and love. Michael did a solo dance number here with his dancers cheering him on in awe. This was quite amusing and cute as he got all shy and embarrassed at the end and asked his team to not encourage him too much as he had to conserve his energy for the real event.

There were many more of these moments as you see a lighter, gentler, softer and kinder side to this pop icon that has hardly been portrayed by the media. Making him almost like any ordinary man. Instead of the barrage of "wacko jacko" that we have been constantly fed by the press, what we see is a humble, down to earth yet firm and efficient professional. Michael was always kind to his musicians and dancers, speaking to them nicely, treating them with respect but at the same time exuding enough firmness and authority to get things the way he wanted; a true mark of devoted perfectionist who knew exactly what he wanted. Many times you will hear him tell his cast and crew how he wanted the songs to sound EXACTLY like how he wrote it. And he was right, that was why people would go and watch the concert. You will never see him throw a diva tantrum or scream like a tortured artiste even though at one part of the movie one of the musicians was clearly getting on his nerves with the dude's callous attitude. You also get to see the child-like quality about Michael that has been reported extensively but never really seen by the public. During the rehearsal of an old Jackson 5 number, he was not able to sing and kept complaining about the volume of the music on his headset and how it was almost drilling into his brain. He just looked so fragile and timid when he was telling this to the concert director Danny Ortega that you just wanted to run over and give him a hug! Seriously! :)

The movie is not without flaws though. One of my all-time favourite MJ's hit was Smooth Criminal. Call it bad editing or maybe the result of an unfinished product but I thought the black and white intro video for Smooth Criminal just came across as rather lame and tacky. Despite the fact that they were able to edit MJ into a very old famous movie, it became very distracting and annoying once the dancing and singing begin and was interspersed with machine gun sounds from the footage. And oh you also don't get to see the legendary fall-forward-in-unison move that is the trademark of the Smooth Criminal choreography. Sigghhh..

Whilst cynics may call this a cash grab fest released to further exploit this legendary artiste, I am sure that they too would agree that looking at this great man with his eyes alight with excitement at the prospect of putting on a great show after such a long hiatus, is indeed refreshing. Even the bad camera angle, sharp editing and poor sound quality in certain instances just added to the charm of this sincere and unassuming movie. Fan or not, go watch this with an open mind and for two and a half hours at least, you can forget all the scandals and tragedy surrounding MJ and just focus on excellent music and pure clean entertainment! This at least makes This Is It worth your RM10. And if all else fail, you would at least get to sing along to all the greatest hits and be transported back to your beautiful childhood/ younger days' memories.

TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO DO WHEN APPLYING FOR A JOB

Since joining my new company about six months ago, part of my responsibilities include managing the general emails that we receive via the website. (no.. im not an IT person.. do I look that nerdy tech savvy to you?) Anyways, whilst the whole purpose of doing this is to manage and answer all inquiries posted about our services, lately we have also had to entertain a lot of job applications via the same web mail (no.. I'm not in Human Resources either.. do I look so overweight and uptight people-centric to you? :P). Since I have to suffer the headache of sifting through tons of these kind of applications that was flooding my inbox, I figured, I might as well share with you some common rules on what NOT to do when applying for a job via email. This is so that you can spare me the emotional trauma by not doing any of the things below! Enjoy! :)

1. Send an email with the attachment "resumeaku.doc" as the file name
   

   Whilst we understand your need to emphasise the fact that it is in fact YOUR resume and not your grandma's, neighbour's daughter's or that hawt stranger you often bump into whilst waiting for the bus's, anybody else's, this is actually just TRYING TO HARD. In fact it could backfire and cause us to think that you may actually have something to hide.
   
   

2. Send an email with the attachment "PERFECT RESUME.doc" as the file name
   

   Don't kid yourself kid! If your resume is really that perfect, we wouldn't be having this conversation.
   
   

3. Use the email drgangstazz@yahoo.com when applying for the position of Medical Officer
   

   Indeed, we deeply understand that we all now live in a crazy cut-throat world and you may feel the need to put up this tough exterior to survive. Nevertheless, our patients may not necessarily sit well with the idea that their physician is a Doctor AND the Godfather Incarnate at the same time.
   
   

4. Use the email hunnybaby88@gmail.com or sweetiegurl_87@hotmail.com or sexybunzz@aol.com for ANY POSITION!!
   

   Do I even have to go into details on this one? :P
   
   

5. Send a cover email as follows, "A'kum, attach kat sini saya punye CV"
   
   Okay, so your mami jarum aunty sister works in the People Capital Division. So you feel that this may get her attention. So you think that being all informal and acting like you are our long lost friend who used to trip us with the see saw at the playground from primary school will get you the job. Whatever! Doesn't work kid! In fact, we wouldn't be surprised if your sister from PCD comes back home and screams at you for this! :P
   
   
   
6. Use a deep red background complete with pink flowers, tiny hearts and butterflies for your CV
   
   Yes, we appreciate the effort. Yes, we think you are extremely creative and can have a successful career as a Singaporean Beauty Pageant Queen an artiste. But as far as healthcare is concerned, you're waaaayyy ahead of your time kid!
   
   
   
7. Send an email with the following subject line " APPLICATION FOR ANY KIND OF VACANCY AT YOUR PLACE/ COMPANY "
   

   We acknowledge the fact that we now live in an extremely trying economic times where some of you will take any job at all!! But hey, we are not exactly a job recruitment agency. If you have no freaking idea of what it is that you wanna do with your life, chances are...we wouldn't too! :P
   
   

8. Send a generic and mass job application email to enquiries@pantai.com.my, marketing@tropicanamedicalcentre.com, inquiries@sdmc.com, inquiries@gimc.com.my etc...etc.. (well.. u get the picture) simultaneously
   

   Whilst we realise that you may be applying to as many jobs as possible upon graduation, we would STILL like to think that we are special and that you are dying to work for us, ONLY us and no one else! If you really do want a job, it would be in your best interest to humour our qualms and stroke our manbits ego just a little!
   
   

9. Send the same job application email eight times within three days!!!
   

   Yes, we can comprehend the urgency and direness of you landing a job ASAP in order to get five pairs of that Paris Hilton sun shades start paying off your PTPTPN loan. But no, theres nothing wrong with our IT system. Our computers and emails are working just fine. But oh..congratulations on successfully annoying and insulting us to a point where we are not going to call you at all!
   
   

10. Pose in a bright pink bathing suit in the swimming pool and use that as your CV picture
    

    You may have been inspired by Elle Woods of the Legally Blonde franchise. But unfortunately for you, the people going through your application at our organisation are not deprived old men but rather overweight and overzealous middle aged single females who may take extreme offense at your flaunting your young, vibrant and excellent figure in their wrinkly pudgy faces :P

IN THE DEPTH OF DESPAIR

Foolishness prevails
Dignity .. no avail
Resolve fails
Emptiness trails

Mistakes repeated
Lessons unlearned
Heart shattered
Dreams disappeared

Life astray
Memories fade away
Wasted today
Gone the ray

Living fear
Dead terror
Delved deeper
No answer

Hate imminent
Resent apparent
Bitterness evident
Soul unopened

Hope..mockery
Belief..travesty
Future..obscurity
The end...a certainty

COME WITH ME

Come with me today..
Let us forget this pain and misery
Let me show you the way
Where we can find our new destiny

Come with me right now..
Let us not be resigned to fate
I can show you..just exactly how
Things can be perfect again..things can be great

Come with me tomorrow..
Take your time ..I will wait
Coz I can show you just where to go
Where there's only love..no more hate

Come with me into eternity..
Let us leave this anger behind
Once again we would be happy
And our lives would be just fine

Come with me into oblivion..
We can forget the world we once know
Let us explore new horizons
And enjoy a better tomorrow

A CRYING PRAYER

Dear God please
I don't have no more will to fight
Or suffer those sleepless nights

Dear God please
I can't stand anymore pain
Please release me from these chains

Dear God please
My heart bleeds in this agony
I can't understand this burning misery

Dear God please
How much longer will it take?
Cause I'm just about ready to fall and break

Dear God please
Why did this happen again?
For I did learn..I did refrain

Dear God please
Why do I feel so numb and empty?
Is this how it will always be?

Dear God please
I'm devoid of faith and hope
Just hanging on to dear life on this thin rope

Dear God please
I don't know how much more I can take
Before I lie and never wake

Dear God please
Are you even out there?
Are you looking down on us?
Lending us your ear?
For I've searched for you
From time to time
Looking for some answers..
Looking for the sublime

Dear God please
I don't know what else to do
For I'm nothing but a ghost looking for you..

OUR MAKE BELIEVE WORLD..

Can we pretend just a little while
And say everything is okay
Can we pretend just a little while
Another minute, another day?

Can we pretend just a little while
And watch the clock unwind
Can we pretend just a little while
That I can make believe that you are still mine?

Can we pretend just a little while
To make things what they used to be
Can we pretend just a little while
That your eyes still shine when you see me?

Can we pretend just a little while
That those words.. they didn't cut deep
Can we pretend just a little while
We never cried..we never weep?

Can we pretend just a little while
Our beautiful memories are still here
Can we pretend just a little while
Make all the pain and heartache disappear?

Can we pretend just a little while
That hopes and dreams do come true
Can we pretend just a little while
That yours and mine have and will too?

Can we pretend just a little while
That there will be a better day
Can we pretend just a little while
That this time around..you will stay?

Can we just pretend..just a little while longer
And immerse ourselves in this great fantasy
Maybe someday when the skies are clear
Our stars will shine... our happiness a destiny